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these are oh-so common statements Bear and i hear when we are out in public. he is 31/2 and has yet to get a hair cut. i’ve trimmed the front and the sides so they aren’t in his eyes, but he still has all of his baby hair in the back.
many think that children cry when getting their 1st haircut because they see their hair as an extension of themselves. when it’s removed from their bodies, with no reaction from their parents, it causes turmoil in the child.
we’re often asked when we plan on getting Bear’s hair cut. our response is,
Bear loves his long hair. he lets me pull it into a ponytail on occasion. whenever we’re out in public, i make it a point to show Bear other men with long hair. i want him to know that his choice is acceptable as long as he’s comfortable. this morning, he actually pointed out a man and said, “he has long hair like me!” ultimately, it’s his body and i respect his wishes. i won’t do anything to my child that i wouldn’t do or have done to myself. would i want someone cutting my hair against my will? no.
i am afraid, though, that some insensitive person or another child will make say something that makes him feel embarrassed. i don’t want him to get his haircut because he feels ashamed of his hair or pressured to conform. there’s enough of that with the current status of public schools and societal pressures.
we all want our children to be accepted and have friends, but i can’t justify getting him an “acceptable” haircut {against his wishes} just to blend in to what has been deemed normal. i’ve noticed that many others make judgments and whispered comments about him, myself, or our family in general based on the few things they know about us. through supporting my son’s decision to keep his hair long, i’m telling him: 
Sampson — Kellie from Our Mindful Life reflects on how long hair gives her son power.
Trials and Tribulations of a Boy with Tresses — Carolyn from Mama’s Little Muse talks about her experience in raising a boy with hair too beautiful to cut short. It is about how people have reacted; how she has created keepsakes featuring his hair; and also how they have arrived at a game that they play so that the hair brushing experience goes more smoothly.
Boys Have Long Hair, Too — Sarah from This is Me…Sarah Mum of 3 is mum to 3 children a boy aged 10, girl aged 8 and a boy aged 5, Always loving the longer hair styles for boys her two boys have had many different hair styles over the years but always seem to resort back to the longer locks even against the negative comments they sometimes recieve.
Finally, my son( now 30) always had long hair as a young boy.He really hated the barber!His hair was really beautiful and I did not want to cut it either. We compromised on a mullet when he went to grade school, which we maintained three times a year. Oddly enough, he now likes short hair, and my other son ( now 28) who like buzz cuts as a kid, now had long hair.Funny.Each kid is so different.
Great post Andie, if your son is happy with his hair then your doing the right thing, it is hard when people make comments and I have cut my boys hair in the past because of the comments then always wished I didn't, now they are older it is easy because they can make their own choices and so if they ask for a trim then I let them x
you are doing the right thing. if he loves his hair then let the child be happy. It really is just hair , so people shouldn't stress so much. And it is sad that people are making comments about your child. That is just wrong. Sad thing is that a child may make a mean comment to him. But I hope he stands strong. His hair is beautiful.
I can't believe that people get so hung up over a childs hair! Surely there are more important things to be concerned about, so long as the child is loved and cared for what's the big hooha! I shall step down from my soap box now, this is so well written and you are so right about the message you are sending to your son.
Sod what ever other people think or say, it just shows their narrow mindedness and ignorance.
This is a beautiful post! My BFF is a hairdresser and it makes her ECSTATIC to cut Bobo's hair, but I love his curls. When it's short it doesn't curl as much. Fortunately, he loves to be fussed over and look "handsome" so getting a cut isn't traumatic. I think your decision and the reasons are great.
Your post makes a lot of sense. Boys with long hair is common at my daughter's school, but that is probably due to the fact that she attends a Jewish preschool and many of the families chose to follow the tradition of not cutting their sons hair until they are three. From what I have noticed, by then they have all gotten used to it and they end up just keeping the long hair. Many of the boys in the three year old class have very long hair and either leave it down or pull it back into a pony or braid it on occasion. Even though they technically have already followed through with the tradition, they have have made the choice as a family to let their children make the final call. I think it is fabulous!
Hi Andie! I LOVE IT! My very best friend's son, who is now 22, has always had long hair. And let me tell you, he was the most beautiful boy, but just as beautiful if he was a girl too. I think most of the time he was mistaken for a girl, and he never minded one iota. It was his choice thruout his life to keep it long. I think that is pretty cool. I'm sure throughout his life too, other children probably picked on him, but he didn't give their comments any power. I like that. I think in a way, letting your child have the hair they want helps them to feel comfortable in being truly who they are and not bow to conformity. That is a good character trait to have, and to teach them!
Thanks for putting on this Carnival! Great to see you and the other bloggers' perspectives and experiences on this matter!
I love my daughters long, beautiful hair. She gets comments on it all the time. It's sad to think that just because of being born a different gender, boys with the same glorious hair might be shamed etc. I don't know what we'll do with Noah's hair once it grows longer… I guess as parents of young children we are always making a choice, be it to cut it or to leave it (at least until they are old enough to voice an opinion). I know that Madeline (3.5 years) does NOT want her hair cut (well, she's asked for a hair cut, but only to "cut it longer" haha) so perhaps I'll see what Noah wants too. 🙂
Hi Andie! I laughed out loud when I read your post. I love that you are allowing him to choose. I was the same way with my son, who always wanted a Princeton cut. My daughter on the otherhand was bald until she was three. I actually taped bows in her hair, taped! Scotch taped bows! And the people whould say what a cute litte boy I had. I had her ears pierced at 5 months and ribbons taped on her head, and she was still a "he" because of the lack of hair. I hate that people feel the need to conform to a set standard. It's boring and gray being like everybody else.
Love this post! My sister and I have had so many discussions about how to raise children without pointing them towards the path society wants them to go down. My son has his own baby doll, plays with "so-called" girl toys, and loves to bake. He also loves cars, gets dirty all of the time, and just learned how to play T-ball. Who created these stereotypes anyway? Love that you let your little guy make his own choices as well. What a great Mama! 🙂
This is thought-provoking- I had never viewed our kids' hair in this light!
This carnival is so great!!! I love that you point out other men with long hair – I have to remember this one. I don't do that often enough. Your son's hair is beautiful and he is so lucky to have such a peaceful and loving mama to support him and love him through his life.
oh I love the quote about Hair being a tangle of mysterious prejudices, its so true. Thanks so much for organising this Carnival.
Your love is so pure Andie, and I love that you instill a "You are perfect just the way you are" safe feeling in your little Bear. It definitely isn't the norm. It takes a lot of strength to go against the grain, and my hat goes off to you, and my heart goes off to you my friend!!
My nephew had long hair for many years. I remember visiting them and having his teacher having clipped it back for him so it wouldn't get in his eyes and to be cooler since they live in North Carolina. My sister felt how you do and she did not want to cut it at all anyway. My daughter and I have had similar discussions. After I get mine cut she wants hers cut like mine, but I explain she will lose her natural curly ends when we cut it (since I did), so she usually changes her mind. We just cut her bangs so she can see.Thank you for sharing at Sharing Saturday! I hope you have a fabulous weekend!