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I know the pain of having an infant that will not sleep if they are not held or touched. The agony of not being able to get your older baby to go to sleep without rocking or nursing. But that doesn’t last forever…. They’re only little, sweet, and fully dependent on us for a limited period of time. So why shouldn’t we do all we can to nurture their trust in us? Does it mean making sacrifices? It sure does. But that’s part of being a parent. I’ll admit to being so despondent that I tried the “cry it out” approach with my son for all of 8 seconds. That’s it. That’s as long as I could sit outside that door and hear him cry because he needed me. Those 8 seconds still haunt me over 9 years later…. That night, I thought about how it must feel for babies to experience CIO. Here’s what I penned down….
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bedtime is my favorite part of the day… a time for dark, quiet, tenderness as she
rocks me in the chair, humming softly. her hand gently pats my back to the beat of her heart. nuzzled in the nape of her neck, i can smell the sweet scent of her that surrounded me all those months while i was in her womb. it is that scent that i can sometimes still smell on my blanket when she’s not near me. but tonight, something is different.
there is no rocking, no patting… no her. she just places me down, alone in this
crib. what happened? what’s wrong? i’m scared… where is she going? terrified, i watched as she walks towards the door, her figure growing smaller, but my panic rising up in my throat. the door is only shut for a few seconds before i cannot contain it within me anymore. she must’ve made a mistake. this isn’t how we do bedtime. i let forth a cry, knowing that she’ll be right back for me. she’ll hold me, pat me, love me. but it doesn’t work.
why isn’t she coming? i cry out louder and louder. and still she stays behind that door. the cold darkness closes in on me as i wail so loud, my throat burns. my little heart races as my mind struggles to figure out why i am alone. i need her. please.
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| source: Blogging4Baby.com |
For more info on Cry It Out, see these sites:
What worked for my son (7 mos) was talking him through the bedtime process, "It's time for you to go to bed now. I'll see you in the morning. Hugs and kisses. I love you. Ok, I'm going to put you down now. Here is your blanket. Good night." I do this before every nap and his bedtime and he goes right to sleep on his own – it has worked amazingly well. I think many people don't give babies enough credit – if you tell them what's going on, they'll understand you!
It seems as though this post is intended to put down another parenting method. While the author is certainly entitled to her opinion, as a parent that went through major depression and anxiety that was largely fueled by sleep deprivation, it really upsets me to see such an emotionally triggering post. Parenting is hard. Few parents really want to sleep train, but we make the decisions that are right for our families. And sleep training certainly can be done in a loving way so that everyone gets the most benefits and the fewest consequences. I just hope that any new or unsure parent that reads this remembers that this is just a blogger's opinion certainly not a definitive post on how your baby would see this approach. We are all just trying to do the best job we can, let's support each other. All babies want loving families that are still happy to see them in the morning.
Oh my gosh, this is such great info. I feel so bad that I let my 27 year old cry, when finally out of desperation our pediatrition suggested that, because he wasn't sleeping. Though we didn't just leave him, we would go back in every few minutes to reassure him we were still there and loved him. My other children we would just put to bed awake, and never had that problem again. When they cried we would just go and get them, because they knew how to go to sleep on their own.
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http://www.adornedfromabove.com/2013/04/wednesdays-adorned-from-above-blog-hop_30.html
We hope to see you there.
Debi and Charly @ Adorned From Above